The first trailer of my film "Mastang Mama (50% Mast, 50% Tang)" released on Youtube today.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Are there simple answers to Mumbai traffic?
I have this dream often. I am sitting in a car and I need to use the loo. A couple of buttons and a cavity opens up in the car seat to reveal a functional toilet. For Mumbaites, who’ve spent lifetimes stuck in traffic, it would seem like the product innovation of the year. The other variation of this dream is in the form of people spending their entire lives in traffic. 1 BHK, 2 BHK being replaced by 1 Axel, 2 Axel American style RV’s. Property agents and auto salesmen merging into one hideously mutated species.
I’ve been, like the rest of the city, suffering what can at best be described as stupidity for too many years. Is there no way to smoothen traffic in the city? Is there no hope at all? Is, as the famous saying goes, the world going to end in a traffic jam? Actually there are a few very small things that could make a huge difference. And they are not all utopian dreams. They work in other countries.
Most of these observations are about clearing more vehicles through the same road surface. Speed is important! The quicker a vehicle passes through the sooner it will create space for the next vehicle. Yet, we find stupidity in basic planning. ‘Go slow’ or ’60-50-40’ sign boards are the epitome of this stupidity. Here are some small measures I can see with my two eyes.
1.Fix all crossings: It is amazing how many crossings are potholed or simply broken in suburban Mumbai. Traffic takes, on an average, three times longer to get across a crossing than it should because of the crawl every motorist has to indulge in to avoid their vehicles being totaled. Every left or right turn in Mumbai is a torture test for vehicles. I don’t see why that should be. It is simple engineering not some complex rocket science to fix a bend in the road. Oh, by the way, those paver blocks…can I suggest a few BMC engineers try using them to cover their back holes?
2.Keep crossings clear: It is simple really, if you know that traffic in front of you is backed up in such a way that you will stop bang in the middle of the crossing, you should stop before the crossing till you are sure the traffic in front has moved enough to let you cross. The number of pile ups we see because of everyone taking a crossing and then getting stuck in the middle is amazing. I’m not advocating that we all take the spirit of ‘pehle aap’ because that would indeed be utopian and I’m trying to dole out practical solutions. How frustrating is it to see an autowallah squirm like a worm and screw up traffic? It is a simple measure that works very well in a lot of countries.
3.Corner parking: Why must anyone park at a corner? Every corner in suburban Mumbai has autos parked in such a way that it creates a blind spot for anyone approaching that corner. Be it at a street intersection or at the corner of your building. These blind spots are everywhere. Unless you slow down to a crawl you run the risk of being in an accident. This slows speeds and once again fast approaches and exits are impossible.
4.‘60-50-40’ must be replaced by ‘80-80-80’: It is common sense that the speed of traffic is determined by the slowest moving vehicle. So what good is a 60Kmph speed limit for a car that is riding behind a truck that has a 40Kmph speed limit? I am sure the guy who had this brainwave died about 100 years back and no one in traffic management business has had the brains to work around this.
5. Rush hours for office goers: Office rush hours should be for officegoers and not for cars going to office. How many cars do we see travelling with one occupant? Or one driver driving one sahib? The concept of car-pooling has not worked because there is no incentive/disincentive on offer. In addition to enabling a web-based system of car pooling the BMC must think about disincentives to make car pooling attractive. Let me offer a simple disincentive- During office rush hours a car with less than 4 occupants should not be allowed to use the flyovers or the Worli Sealink. I know this will create a stink in the short term but in the long term it will yield amazing results. Also, why can’t there be a curb on trucks during office rush hours? Every other city in India has some time restrictions on trucks and their movements.
I am sure there are many other such small ideas that can contribute hugely to making our time in traffic less harrowing. And maybe I can go back to dreaming more normal sort of dreams.
I’ve been, like the rest of the city, suffering what can at best be described as stupidity for too many years. Is there no way to smoothen traffic in the city? Is there no hope at all? Is, as the famous saying goes, the world going to end in a traffic jam? Actually there are a few very small things that could make a huge difference. And they are not all utopian dreams. They work in other countries.
Most of these observations are about clearing more vehicles through the same road surface. Speed is important! The quicker a vehicle passes through the sooner it will create space for the next vehicle. Yet, we find stupidity in basic planning. ‘Go slow’ or ’60-50-40’ sign boards are the epitome of this stupidity. Here are some small measures I can see with my two eyes.
1.Fix all crossings: It is amazing how many crossings are potholed or simply broken in suburban Mumbai. Traffic takes, on an average, three times longer to get across a crossing than it should because of the crawl every motorist has to indulge in to avoid their vehicles being totaled. Every left or right turn in Mumbai is a torture test for vehicles. I don’t see why that should be. It is simple engineering not some complex rocket science to fix a bend in the road. Oh, by the way, those paver blocks…can I suggest a few BMC engineers try using them to cover their back holes?
2.Keep crossings clear: It is simple really, if you know that traffic in front of you is backed up in such a way that you will stop bang in the middle of the crossing, you should stop before the crossing till you are sure the traffic in front has moved enough to let you cross. The number of pile ups we see because of everyone taking a crossing and then getting stuck in the middle is amazing. I’m not advocating that we all take the spirit of ‘pehle aap’ because that would indeed be utopian and I’m trying to dole out practical solutions. How frustrating is it to see an autowallah squirm like a worm and screw up traffic? It is a simple measure that works very well in a lot of countries.
3.Corner parking: Why must anyone park at a corner? Every corner in suburban Mumbai has autos parked in such a way that it creates a blind spot for anyone approaching that corner. Be it at a street intersection or at the corner of your building. These blind spots are everywhere. Unless you slow down to a crawl you run the risk of being in an accident. This slows speeds and once again fast approaches and exits are impossible.
4.‘60-50-40’ must be replaced by ‘80-80-80’: It is common sense that the speed of traffic is determined by the slowest moving vehicle. So what good is a 60Kmph speed limit for a car that is riding behind a truck that has a 40Kmph speed limit? I am sure the guy who had this brainwave died about 100 years back and no one in traffic management business has had the brains to work around this.
5. Rush hours for office goers: Office rush hours should be for officegoers and not for cars going to office. How many cars do we see travelling with one occupant? Or one driver driving one sahib? The concept of car-pooling has not worked because there is no incentive/disincentive on offer. In addition to enabling a web-based system of car pooling the BMC must think about disincentives to make car pooling attractive. Let me offer a simple disincentive- During office rush hours a car with less than 4 occupants should not be allowed to use the flyovers or the Worli Sealink. I know this will create a stink in the short term but in the long term it will yield amazing results. Also, why can’t there be a curb on trucks during office rush hours? Every other city in India has some time restrictions on trucks and their movements.
I am sure there are many other such small ideas that can contribute hugely to making our time in traffic less harrowing. And maybe I can go back to dreaming more normal sort of dreams.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Why I won't watch 3D!
I watched my first 3D movie in ‘Alice in Wonderland’. It was not as impressive as I thought it would be. Technology has arrived and there no doubt that in time all films (or nearly all) will be made in 3D. The most irritating part of watching a 3D film are the smudgy glasses. For a long time I kept having to raise the glasses to see properly. Then it occurred to me that the glasses may be the culprit. When the lights came on, at the end of the film unfortunately, I realized just how dirty the glasses were. I am surprised some serious eye disease isn’t going around thanks to shared glasses. I think I have sworn off 3D for the time being. In time, when people have their own set of glasses, the system will settle into a pattern and will work for viewers like me. The other thing that needs to settle into a pattern is the need, or the lack of it, for filmmakers to showoff the 3D aspect. I am sure the 3D experience like the 5.1 surround sound needs time to set a protocol of what is acceptable and what is just plain loud.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Nonsense about Women’s quota bill
Having witnessed the moronic arguments about this bill I have to admit those against the bill do have a point. Their methods of expression might not be the best and their intentions can always be doubted, they are politicians after all, but they do point out serious shortcomings of the bill. Though I am completely against reservation of any kind, it has not worked for the last 60years and is never going to work, I will try to untangle this knot that everyone seems very keen on tying themselves into.
Here is my solution. No reservation in Parliament but reservations in parties instead. The parties can decide who they want to field and in which constituency as long as they have a total of 33% women candidates. Election Commission can monitor each party. It is simple and should make everyone happy. Including the electorate who at this time don’t seem to have a choice and are in imminent danger of being shafted. Let the onus of the reservation be on the parties. And, parties like SP and RJD can decide how many subsets they want to create. It will also mean that they will have to practice what they have only preached till now.
For us, the people, there will still be a semblance of merit.
Here is my solution. No reservation in Parliament but reservations in parties instead. The parties can decide who they want to field and in which constituency as long as they have a total of 33% women candidates. Election Commission can monitor each party. It is simple and should make everyone happy. Including the electorate who at this time don’t seem to have a choice and are in imminent danger of being shafted. Let the onus of the reservation be on the parties. And, parties like SP and RJD can decide how many subsets they want to create. It will also mean that they will have to practice what they have only preached till now.
For us, the people, there will still be a semblance of merit.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Is Hindi Cinema Dying?
In college I used to bunk classes two or three times a week to go see films. The idea was not to see films because I was a cinema buff or because brilliant films were playing all the time. It was simply a convenient way to be cool, both physically and metaphorically. At Rs. 3.45 I could cut the boring economics class and spend the hot summer afternoon in the cool air conditioned comfort on padded seats watching some of the worst cinema ever made (I’m talking about the mid 80’s here). I wasn’t lucky (cool?) enough to have a girlfriend then but those who did enjoyed the outings even more. When was the last time you wandered into a movie hall to kill time or to get out of the summer sun or to spend quality time with your girlfriend or to dodge that lecture on Malthusian theory? Movie going has now evolved from a casual pastime to a serious well planned entertainment activity. Recent advent of Multiplexes has changed the pricing model in such a way that it almost requires a 5 year plan type approach to cinema viewing.
How, you might ask, does this lead me to conclude that Hindi Cinema is dying? In fact there are pointers to the contrary. There is enough and more evidence that ‘well made’ films are not only finding audiences, they are even going on to make unheard of money. ‘Three Idiots’ has been a phenomenon of a kind and its success would suggest the question is a little crazy. But, sadly there is a but, that is only an illusion if you are looking at the picture from the small film’s perspective.
‘Well Made’- is the key. Unfortunately that is not the complete truth.
‘Well Made’ big films will not just do well they will continue breaking records as we have seen in the recent past. As a general principal people have a need to go out of their homes to be entertained and the cinema hall experience will remain at the forefront fulfilling this need. As incomes grow so too will the number of people frequenting cinema halls and ‘Well Made’ big films will be rewarded richly. The cheer though will not be spread universally. ‘Well made’ small films, unfortunately, will not survive long enough to benefit from these added footfalls.
All Films are watched. A truth that doesn’t bring any joy to most filmmakers.
Regardless of genre or quality all films released in India are watched by all audiences. I know this a generalization but it is true to a very large extent. Appetite for films is definitely undiminished and newer methods of finding content are always being explored by audiences. Sadly, not all of that translates into revenues for the producers. Smaller films are suffering what I call the curse of pre-selection. In itself this is not unique. World over audiences make these choices. They choose to see some films in the movie hall, some in the confines of their homes through various channels like Pay-per-view or video rentals and some they choose to not see at all. But in the Indian market pre-selection manifests itself in the following way: Much before a film is released the audience has already made up their mind about whether or not they will be going to the cinema halls to watch it. The other films are watched on pirated platforms. In fact smaller films with a promise of being ‘Well Made’ are equally desirable as the big films. Rampant piracy, through the neighborhood CD walla or Internet, ensures the audience will watch and even appreciate the films but it will not translate into a sale of any kind that benefits the producers.
The Cinema Pricing Model is Killing.
On the face of it an expensive ticket means the films makers recover their investment quicker. In fact a lot of happiness in the industry during 2006-2007 was attributed to higher ticket prices and the absence of entertainment tax, most multiplexes were exempt from it, and more transparent accounting systems. In 2010 the game has changed in such a way that small films are struggling to find any takers. At 200 bucks a ticket the cinema experience is naturally tilted towards the big film. Most small films do not inspire that kind of spending. For that kind of money, the average cinema goers is not rich, the audience wants to be blown away by a larger than life event.
Word of mouth doesn’t work as well in India.
Unlike the western world, where small movies grow when they receive good word of mouth reviews (Slum Dog is an example of a film that started with a limited release and then grew with each passing week), in India a good film that has not been preselected for viewing in cinemas has already been viewed in a pirated form before the first week is over. So, a good word of mouth review works more to the pirates benefit than to the filmmakers.
Cinema is not like the music industry.
The music industry has been suffering the piracy curse and has still, however hobbled and tattered and torn, survived. Unfortunately films are not going to be able to survive the way the music industry has. Unlike music, which has a pretty introverted creative process, a film’s creative process needs hundreds of people’s, not to mention expensive equipment, contributions before it gets to a place where it is viewable. The other big difference is that music is an interactive experience. Live music, whether in a bar or at a concert, engages the audience in a way recorded music can’t. Films don’t have that aspect of interactivity to bail them out either.
First the small film will go down and then the whole industry.
Given that small films are doomed to be watched for their content on TV or computer screens they are as endangered a species as the Tiger.
And, as nobody seems to be sponsoring a save the ‘well made small film’ campaign yet and there are no reasons to believe that the copyright act and the agencies that enforce it are going to come up with effective ways of enforcement, they are in eminent danger of falling of the edge.
Demise of the small film in the short run may not be of major concern for the people outside the film fraternity, I am tempted to think that some of the players within the film world might applaud and may even lend a hand in pushing it off the edge, but it is possibly the end of the entire Hindi film business. The ‘well made’ small film serves as the talent supply chain. Most talent leaving aside the actors and producers, a lot of whom are parachuted directly into the big film, has to work its way up from the small film into the big film bracket. If this supply to the talent pool dries up it may well lead to the complete business shutting down.
There isn’t a lot that can be done, is there?
Two things must happen immediately if we are to stem the tide. Firstly; pricing models of multiplexes have to change. There is no way the small film will get audiences if movie hall tickets are priced similar to the big film. Recent agreements of revenue sharing between producers/distributors and exhibitors did touch on this subject but no headway has been made to address the situation. Unless the average ticket price for a small film isn’t reduced to about Rs. 50-70 its survival is going to be difficult. An immediate example is available in the success of regional language films. In the recent past they have been turning a profit due to their affordable pricing both in production as well as in exhibition. Secondly, and this one is very very oft repeated; piracy has to be curbed. Especially piracy in the form of internet downloads. Unless these two things happen really soon Hindi Cinema as we know it will find it difficult to survive.
How, you might ask, does this lead me to conclude that Hindi Cinema is dying? In fact there are pointers to the contrary. There is enough and more evidence that ‘well made’ films are not only finding audiences, they are even going on to make unheard of money. ‘Three Idiots’ has been a phenomenon of a kind and its success would suggest the question is a little crazy. But, sadly there is a but, that is only an illusion if you are looking at the picture from the small film’s perspective.
‘Well Made’- is the key. Unfortunately that is not the complete truth.
‘Well Made’ big films will not just do well they will continue breaking records as we have seen in the recent past. As a general principal people have a need to go out of their homes to be entertained and the cinema hall experience will remain at the forefront fulfilling this need. As incomes grow so too will the number of people frequenting cinema halls and ‘Well Made’ big films will be rewarded richly. The cheer though will not be spread universally. ‘Well made’ small films, unfortunately, will not survive long enough to benefit from these added footfalls.
All Films are watched. A truth that doesn’t bring any joy to most filmmakers.
Regardless of genre or quality all films released in India are watched by all audiences. I know this a generalization but it is true to a very large extent. Appetite for films is definitely undiminished and newer methods of finding content are always being explored by audiences. Sadly, not all of that translates into revenues for the producers. Smaller films are suffering what I call the curse of pre-selection. In itself this is not unique. World over audiences make these choices. They choose to see some films in the movie hall, some in the confines of their homes through various channels like Pay-per-view or video rentals and some they choose to not see at all. But in the Indian market pre-selection manifests itself in the following way: Much before a film is released the audience has already made up their mind about whether or not they will be going to the cinema halls to watch it. The other films are watched on pirated platforms. In fact smaller films with a promise of being ‘Well Made’ are equally desirable as the big films. Rampant piracy, through the neighborhood CD walla or Internet, ensures the audience will watch and even appreciate the films but it will not translate into a sale of any kind that benefits the producers.
The Cinema Pricing Model is Killing.
On the face of it an expensive ticket means the films makers recover their investment quicker. In fact a lot of happiness in the industry during 2006-2007 was attributed to higher ticket prices and the absence of entertainment tax, most multiplexes were exempt from it, and more transparent accounting systems. In 2010 the game has changed in such a way that small films are struggling to find any takers. At 200 bucks a ticket the cinema experience is naturally tilted towards the big film. Most small films do not inspire that kind of spending. For that kind of money, the average cinema goers is not rich, the audience wants to be blown away by a larger than life event.
Word of mouth doesn’t work as well in India.
Unlike the western world, where small movies grow when they receive good word of mouth reviews (Slum Dog is an example of a film that started with a limited release and then grew with each passing week), in India a good film that has not been preselected for viewing in cinemas has already been viewed in a pirated form before the first week is over. So, a good word of mouth review works more to the pirates benefit than to the filmmakers.
Cinema is not like the music industry.
The music industry has been suffering the piracy curse and has still, however hobbled and tattered and torn, survived. Unfortunately films are not going to be able to survive the way the music industry has. Unlike music, which has a pretty introverted creative process, a film’s creative process needs hundreds of people’s, not to mention expensive equipment, contributions before it gets to a place where it is viewable. The other big difference is that music is an interactive experience. Live music, whether in a bar or at a concert, engages the audience in a way recorded music can’t. Films don’t have that aspect of interactivity to bail them out either.
First the small film will go down and then the whole industry.
Given that small films are doomed to be watched for their content on TV or computer screens they are as endangered a species as the Tiger.
And, as nobody seems to be sponsoring a save the ‘well made small film’ campaign yet and there are no reasons to believe that the copyright act and the agencies that enforce it are going to come up with effective ways of enforcement, they are in eminent danger of falling of the edge.
Demise of the small film in the short run may not be of major concern for the people outside the film fraternity, I am tempted to think that some of the players within the film world might applaud and may even lend a hand in pushing it off the edge, but it is possibly the end of the entire Hindi film business. The ‘well made’ small film serves as the talent supply chain. Most talent leaving aside the actors and producers, a lot of whom are parachuted directly into the big film, has to work its way up from the small film into the big film bracket. If this supply to the talent pool dries up it may well lead to the complete business shutting down.
There isn’t a lot that can be done, is there?
Two things must happen immediately if we are to stem the tide. Firstly; pricing models of multiplexes have to change. There is no way the small film will get audiences if movie hall tickets are priced similar to the big film. Recent agreements of revenue sharing between producers/distributors and exhibitors did touch on this subject but no headway has been made to address the situation. Unless the average ticket price for a small film isn’t reduced to about Rs. 50-70 its survival is going to be difficult. An immediate example is available in the success of regional language films. In the recent past they have been turning a profit due to their affordable pricing both in production as well as in exhibition. Secondly, and this one is very very oft repeated; piracy has to be curbed. Especially piracy in the form of internet downloads. Unless these two things happen really soon Hindi Cinema as we know it will find it difficult to survive.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Would you write a screenplay on deffered payment?
I've come across this question a lot. The answer has to be : Never!
Most 'paid' assignments don't get made into films. I'm sure somewhere on the net you will find a statistic of 90-10 or 98-2 (more likely) ratio to prove it. Chance of a 'no-money-upfront' deal making it through is set in fairytale land. Sure it happens, though I don't know anyone it has happened to, but it is the same thing as buying a lottery. In fact it is worse because you've got to work for 3-6 months before you have a shot at the dream as opposed to just forking out a couple of bucks.
My simple logic is: if a producer can't raise money for a script he's probably just fishing anyway. Basically the producer's plan is to take a writers investment and try to build his fortune on it. Doesn't sound like a good business deal to me.
I get a counter logic from desperately needy writers: "What if it was a reputable, verifiable person asking, should I do it?"
Writers are an insecure lot and easily buy into false dreams. But they've got to stop to think about what these producer credentials are worth. I mean, if they can't raise money for the most important component of a film they couldn't be worth much. Remember without a script a producer would have nothing.
The other fact to consider: A writers job is done when he hands in the script. So basically the writer is the only one to have delivered on his commitment. Everyone else can just walk away from there as they have nothing invested in it anyway.
Most 'paid' assignments don't get made into films. I'm sure somewhere on the net you will find a statistic of 90-10 or 98-2 (more likely) ratio to prove it. Chance of a 'no-money-upfront' deal making it through is set in fairytale land. Sure it happens, though I don't know anyone it has happened to, but it is the same thing as buying a lottery. In fact it is worse because you've got to work for 3-6 months before you have a shot at the dream as opposed to just forking out a couple of bucks.
My simple logic is: if a producer can't raise money for a script he's probably just fishing anyway. Basically the producer's plan is to take a writers investment and try to build his fortune on it. Doesn't sound like a good business deal to me.
I get a counter logic from desperately needy writers: "What if it was a reputable, verifiable person asking, should I do it?"
Writers are an insecure lot and easily buy into false dreams. But they've got to stop to think about what these producer credentials are worth. I mean, if they can't raise money for the most important component of a film they couldn't be worth much. Remember without a script a producer would have nothing.
The other fact to consider: A writers job is done when he hands in the script. So basically the writer is the only one to have delivered on his commitment. Everyone else can just walk away from there as they have nothing invested in it anyway.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Election time again.
Once again the heart is filled with dread. Instead of looking forward with enthusiasm I, like so many others, am dreading the outcome. This election I am having a harder time concentrating on the emerging stories than normal. The two main parties have nothing new to offer, their sales pitch is tired and worn out. The only thing that separates them is their jostling for the higher moral ground which I'm afraid is mostly imagined as the people see them as two sides of the same coin. So the Third Front with all its prime ministers in waiting is probably the only interesting boat to follow. That it has a very real chance makes me want to pack my bags and immigrate to Pakistan or Sudan or some banana republic.
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